


Madison

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [385]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Madison - Freeform, Werewolves, realities of hunting, reflecting on madison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9705824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: Sam sometimes stops to think about all they've learned. It's not always an exciting, uplifting prospect.





	

* * *

The fact that they’ve learned so much, uncovered new depths about hunting and the supernatural in general is pretty gratifying, most days. It means they’re good at their jobs, have been successful, have gotten stuff done. 

Other days, it’s horrifying.

Every time they learn something new about werwolves, for instance. Those days are the worst.

Like, there are safe werewolves, werewolves that eat chicken hearts, werewolves that can control it, werewolf religions that help members keep themselves under control. Like the fact that werewolves can live happy, fulfilled lives and don’t need to be shot and killed just for existing.

Finding out about Purgatory is like a stab in the gut. Dean doesn’t want to talk about Purgatory, and Sam, truthfully, doesn’t want his question answered, but Sam always wondered if Dean ran into Madison there.

Probably not, the logical part of his brain says. He killed her _years_ prior. Something else probably already got to her, wiped her soul from existence. Sam needs to sit down, physically sit down and get his breathing back under control, after thinking that.

Would Madison have liked Garth’s family? Would she and Kate have gotten along? Would she have been satisfied on chicken hearts? Could she have learnt the control?

Would they have managed to work out, together? Sam always stops himself, when he gets to this question.

Every creature he kills could be another Madison, and Sam knows it, and it sits uncomfortably inside of him. He wonders how many innocent lives he ends, how many just need some information and some help and a second chance. 

He wonders what he’ll know next week, next month, next year, that will simultaneously make his job a hundred times easier and a hundred times more difficult. 

He hates himself, most of the time, for not knowing in time.


End file.
